Did You Know Japan has 4 Seasons?


I guess autumn is in my top 4 favourite seasons. Haha, welcome to today’s show. Yeah, I like spring and I like autumn. They’re the seasons of change. Everyone’s happy to see them, especially when they’re late. By the time autumn arrives, no one misses summer. Back at home autumn is like the person who skips your song at karaoke to put on Bon Jovi. You feel a little cheated and disappointed but you can’t bloody leave now; you just have to wait for it to end and hope Ashanti’s on the way. Summer out here is Hotel California. Bohemian Rhapsody. Everyone thinks it’s what they want but it’s not. Maybe it is for the first 10 seconds but then you remember it’s a 40 minute song and actually you hate Bohemian Rhapsody. Why is it so much effort? Is it always this much effort? Why am I sweating under my eyes oh my God. You sing along to a chorus and wait for it to end. What a classic, great job everybody. Everyone reaches for a drink, pleased you made it from start to finish with the same friends. You need to tone it down though before someone dies from exhaustion. Autumn is welcome. Autumn in Japan is Kiss From A Rose. Remember Batman? Val Kilmer got fat and then he lost all the weight. Did he? Yeah. I fancied him. Oh no I fancied Robin. Who played Robin? I don’t know I just remember fancying hi- MY POWER MY PLEASURE MY PAIN is when the maple leaves turn completely red and then that really intense BABY!  that you somehow hit after misjudging how much time you had to gulp your drink – that’s a quiet west-Kyoto temple on November 21st. Why is everyone around you so beautiful? Why do you know all the words to this song? Why doesn’t everyone know all the words to this song? When does our time run out? Wait, you’re leaving after this song? Autumn. Winter slips in like a priority-queued Pulp song before ***now that’s what I call your mum’s mate Sue driving to Sainsbury's to do the weekly shop*** and you’ve just got to pray there’s someone to make out with / bum cigarettes off before you can get Sylvester on.

- Molly Arnthal